Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue 2019 Launch

Paulina Porizkova Reflects On Grief After Losing Friend To Pancreatic Cancer

On August 23, 1989, she married The Cars frontman Ric Ocasek. In May 2018, the ‘Anna’ actress revealed that the former couple had parted ways. Just over a year later, he passed away suddenly after undergoing surgery before the divorce was finalised.

Paulina found out after his death that she and the two sons they shared had been removed from his will shortly before his passing and their legal dispute with his estate did not end until 2021.

The “No Filter: The Good, The Bad, and The Beautiful” author took to Instagram to share a throwback photo while sharing a heartfelt message with her followers about the stages of grief.

Paulina Porizkova admits she hasn’t yet ‘grown into my new skin’ amid honest discussion of grief

In a heartfelt Instagram post about grief, Paulina shared a throwback photo she took with Estée Lauder. “It’s been over three years, and the grief still hits, sometimes at unexpected moments,” she admitted in the caption.

“It’s not just that you mourn the disappearance of the one you loved. You are also grieving the loss of a life you knew. The future you planned. And the person you were,” she explained. “‘Yes, you are also grieving the loss of YOU.”

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Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue 2019 Launch

“The YOU you knew has also been obliterated. “you” who shared a history with this person, “you” who shared a future. You can never get that “you” back. This is what I’m struggling with now,” she admitted, adding, “I’ve come to terms with the absence of my beloved, although reminders of him still make me wince in pain.”

“I haven’t really grown into my new skin yet. Sometimes I feel like a shar-pei puppy, my skin is too big for me,” Paulina admitted. “I long and miss the boundaries of the cozy skin that suits me all my life. And so I must continue to grow to fill this new mold.”

“And growing, as you know, causes pain. All of this is part of grief,” she explained. “Growing into the new you, which can be bigger and stronger. But it takes time.”

Paulina admitted that she is also grieving the loss of her friend Erik Wiener, who recently passed away from pancreatic cancer.

Paulina shares a touching tribute to her late friend

In another Instagram post, the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit cover model revealed that her friend Erik Wiener had lost his battle with pancreatic cancer. “He set up this, the first Asbury Park Ted X talk, and talked me into being one of the speakers,” she wrote in the caption. “This is the clip from it. 2018. He was a strong supporter and believed in my abilities when very few others did.”

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She went on to explain that they first met at her best friend’s wedding, as he was the brother of her friend’s husband. She said they “clicked instantly”, adding: “Both Aries, we quickly found our mutual energy and enthusiasm bonding.”

“I broke the heel of my high-heeled shoe during rehearsal and he went with me to find a cobbler to fix it. (His wife ok’d it!) There was literally no reason to do it, other than kindness, she wrote.

“And this was Erik. Infinitely kind. Generous to a fault,” she added. “Big-hearted and enthusiastic to a fault. An amazing cook. A wonderful and devoted father and husband. The best big brother.”

“The evil of pancreatic cancer took him away from all those who loved him yesterday.
My last text a few days ago was the only one that didn’t get a response,” she continued. “It was ‘love you.’ But I think he knew.”

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“My heart goes out to his family and friends,” she concluded, adding, “Erik, I wish you could see how the love for you flowed from all of us. Wherever you are, I hope you can feel it.”

Many fans took the time to share their condolences. “Beautiful tribute to your friend!” a fan commented. “I’m sorry for the loss.”

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